Fear...

"Our biggest fear is always losing our heart to someone.
  The heart that we preserve and keep so well guarded for all of our formative years.
  We do anything to keep our heart away from those who we know will steal it.


  It is, after all, human nature to guard ourselves from hurt.
  We fear the hurt we will get, whether it will happen or not.


  We are afraid to fall in love, God forbid, the person tramples
  our heart and runs away from our life.
  And most often than not, we lose our heart to someone we least expected."



Sometimes, I'm scared as well. That's why I've never wanted to like anyone.
I don't plan on liking anyone at all.
I've been through some experience I don't want repeating history again.
It's not easy to know that the person you liked played you.

So, maybe someday, not now, but someday I'll open up to someone.
Someone that I know it's right for me.
Cause obviously it's too early now.
I've literally been single since 2013 till now and nobody believes me.
Is it that hard to believe? Haha

I admit I do have crushes here and there but that's only temporary.
It won't be long term because of history.

People tend to think I have a boyfriend.
Uhm, do I have the I-got-a-boyfriend look? Haha
Maybe I do cause I always tweets or post emotional stuffs. My bad.

Anyways, that's all. I don't know why I feel like posting these.
I just had the feeling to post these stuffs.



"Maybe it's for the best."

Some memories never fade

So I'm back from National Service and yes I would go back again if I can
Tbh, who cares what others says about how bad is NS and all those shits
Well, you guys are totally wrong
Those shits people says turn into wonderful perfect memories for me
It's something that you'll never get to feel until you go NS.

These feelings are really indescribable and I don't know how to say it
It's like you've bonded with each and everyone of them
You've became a family with everyone
You've build a relationship with everyone
The bond that you have are really hard to break it.

For me, I think these 72 days seriously are not enough for us
Yes, first two weeks sucks to the max because I was still quite shy with everyone
But starting from the third week you'll feel that maybe this is not bad after all
It is freaking tiring from all those classes every morning and physical activities
But it's a freaking good experience tbh

I mean the classes are boring but the activities damn fucking fun *oops hehe*
First week you'll definitely cry because you'll get home sick badly
And then there'll be teachers kept on telling you about your parents at home
That's when you'll start crying thanks to the teachers
But that's how much you'll know our parents sacrifice so much for us

Although my camp are really strict with girls mixing with boys,
we still gets to communicate with them
And the boys there are really fun and funny 

Their sense of humor you just can't get enough haha

Oh and my camp is Kem Hutan Rekreasi Ayer Keroh 
If there's any chance NS are back on track, 98's batch please go
Don't even hesitate I'm serious 
Don't even think that NS are gonna spoil your plans because it won't
You will NEVER EVER REGRET GOING

Especially on the last day you'll cry to the max 
Because you're parting with everyone you've literally bonded there 
So don't listen to all those bullshits about NS, just go.

The reason why I'm telling all these now because I really miss all of them now 
They're one of the reasons why I don't want to leave
But eventually every journey comes to an end.

I miss my dorm mates
I miss the teachers there
I miss the boys that always makes fun of me
I miss lining up every morning
I miss running the 'kolam'
I miss class Sultan Muzzafar Shah
I miss UNGGUL BRAVO
I miss BRAVO 190
and lastly I miss you...

"Things end. But memories last forever."