Monday, 12 December 2016

keep fighting and i'll stay

It is exactly one year ago I was in a relationship with my ex 
Yes, we've broken up on the 20th June 2016 and
yes of course i remembered it 
He broken my heart into pieces and idk how to put it back to pieces 

Until i knew him...
idk when this started 
maybe from the time he held me when i almost fall
that's when i realized i'm in a fucking deep shit
we never stopped messaging each other 
and seeing him almost everyday... 

but now, it stopped
we stop talking everyday
tho i really hates him but at the same time i like him
idk what to do 
idk whether if i should stay or let go
he's giving me reasons to let go 
but i keep finding reasons to stay 

he don't even know why he likes me either 
he said he has nothing to offer to me tbh 
and now idk where this would lead us to 

follow the flow? how?? 
yes, he hurt me in many ways mentally 
he does know my feelings but he always acts like he don't know 
because he's afraid to hold the responsibilities i guess 
but what does that makes me? 

he made me look like a fool waiting for him 
when he doesn't even plan to do anything in the first place
where does that puts me in his place? 

he made is sound like he's giving up 
if he is doing so, i'll let go and maybe he'll find someone better... 
but if he's willing to fight, i'll stay definitely
i can't really express my feelings properly to anyone and idk how 
i'm just confused and it's fucking complicated right now....

all i know is i fucking wanted you... i really did...

it has always been you....