well, it has been a long time since i last wrote something here
and finally, i'm here back again with updates
from my previous post you can read whereby i talked about the guy i have feelings for
yup, we're together now few days after i posted that previous post
it's been months since we're together
and honestly, i wouldn't trade this relationship for anything or with anyone
there are ups and downs in a relationship as none is perfect
we argue a lot basically almost every week
relationships without arguments are unhealthy
but relationships with too many arguments are unhealthy too
i know my own flaws which are the cause of our arguments
you see, anxiety don't just go away as well as depression
but the thing is, you took it like it's nothing even when i told you about it
i said to give me some time to change yes, i said that many time
i am trying to change but how do you make anxiety to go away?
i told you i needed you by my side, you said you were but were u really there?
i know you said you're not used to being in a relationship as i'm your second one
and you don't have much experience in dating
but all i need you is to be there for me
even when i'm in a mess
even when i start over thinking shits
even when i got mad over little things
i know i need to be independent in these kinds of things
to know how to control my emotions and deal with it
but you have to know that i get insecure easily by now
yet u said you know me very well? i don't think you do, babe
everything you do, everything you said, i think it through
it is my fault for overthinking everything when you're already mine
but i need you to comfort me and assure me that everything's still okay
i know i'm hard to deal with, i'm trouble for you, i made things complicated for you
to be honest, i'm just afraid one day, you'll wake up and decide you don't love me anymore
i'm afraid of losing you
do you love me?
i always asked that question and it seems hard for you to answer it
that's why i keep doubting of your love towards me
i know you'll say what's so important in saying it
but it is that important because i don't know when i'll be gone one day or maybe tomorrow
those 3 words will make everything better, trust me
but i guess it's hard for you to trust me as well
I love you.
